Don’t Let Txting Control Your Life

Geplaatst op 08-02-2023

So you grabbed your sack and met the girl online. Sick! You chatted her up and got her number. Congrats!! You even sent her the initial flirty, non-needy text message. LEGIT!!!

Now don’t be a wimp: get to the point.

I noticed a trend that developed with the rise of text messaging. Guys would have a great interaction with a girl, get her number, start a txt conversation… and completely piss away the energy through extended txt back-and-forths.

Don’t get me wrong; txting is great. It sidesteps a lot of the logistical issues of dealing with phonecalls (when to call, how long to talk, etc.). It can also be a great way to flirt and test her on various things. The problem comes when guys never get to the point of txting: setting up a date.

That epic 200 message txt exchange you did over the course of 3 hours? Pointless. You could have covered that entire conversation in person in 10 minutes. Worse, you’re setting her expectations that you’re frequently available to txt. Even worse, you’re giving her a strong attention whore fix. Worse than that, you’re dissipating the sexual tension (very hard to maintain over txt). Worst of all, you’re wasting your time.

Sure, it’s just a quick message every few minutes…but then include the time it took you to think over her response. And the time it took you to think up that clever response. And the time you spent thinking over your response after you already sent it. And the time you spent checking your phone every 10 seconds to see if you accidentally missed the txt. And then the time you spent getting irritated because she took 4 minutes to respond instead of the normal 2. And then the time…

You see where this is going.

I was especially prone to this. I loved loved loved getting txt messages. I took delight in witty exchanges and testing the waters of her interest. It was a total blast. I did this for years before I eventually realized what I was doing was just mental masturbation. It was doing nothing to help me but plenty to waste my time.

Here’s a contrasting example: when I used to make phone calls, I had a plan. I would have a couple conversational threads to jump into when I made the call to let the girl know that I was a normal human being, ie she hadn’t just given her number to a total weirdo who magically happened to avoid all his psycho tendencies when he met her.  Once rapport was re-established, I’d ask her when she was free. We’d make plans (or not), and I’d end the phone call. Doneskies.

With txts, however, I’d send an initial flirty txt, and then another flirty txt, and then another, and another, and another ad nauseum. None of it was building her attraction or our rapport, but I was enjoying the attention so much I’d never get around to going for something I knew would: setting up a date.

Two interactions in particular forced me to that realization. The first was a 2 hour back-and-forth that resulted in the foregone conclusion: a date. By itself, not unusual, but throughout the entire episode I was trying to do homework. After finally setting up a time to meet the girl, I realized I had just completely wasted close to two hours, a waste that could have been avoided had I simply pulled the trigger earlier.

The second interaction was really more a series of txt messages with a “busy” girl. When I started txting this girl, we would have long, flirty exchanges. They always ended the same, however: she was just “too busy” to hang out. After a few exchanges like that, I got irritated. I stopped the extended back-and-forths and would instead get to the point quickly: I want to see you, when are you free. The results were the same, but I’d saved myself a TON of time.

The basic Game takeaway to remember is that because txt messaging can be a HUGE time suck and is not an effective way to increase attraction and/or build rapport. No Game you spit over txt will convince her to go out with you if you didn’t already lay the groundwork when you met her. Therefore you should use it only as a method of setting up a date.

With the above in mind, I’ve developed new txting rules for myself similar to the phone guidelines. I start with a either a flirty txt if I was on it when I met her or a normal intro text if I wasn’t. Then I have a couple fun, normal exchanges to demonstrate I’m not a weirdo, and then pull the trigger.